Work of Fiction - The Next Top Áine Macken

Sooooooo I'm not sure you're aware, but, I, Áine Macken, have appalling taste in television. When I say appalling I obviously mean in relation to the judgement of others as to what I allow unfold before my eyes whilst ballooning into a blimp, when really I should be lunging to validate my burlesque career so that I'm no longer referred to as brave but rather as sexy... (give that lil tangent a wave! hi bitter tangent, are we feeling a little insecure this morning, hush now and take your clothes off, twill be very brave of you).... This appalling taste includes any Next Top Anything, the delightfully obsessive cocoon of big brother, Tyra Banks and her upper lip, expanding my vocabulary through watching Lauren Conrad dispense wisdom (MARRY ME.)..., however I'm not so fond of the singing ones, my distaste is akin to my morning breath for their DISARMING and HEARTBREAKING tales of bore involving their failed careers, dead family members, and crossed eyes, and the SONGS, oh do be silent and dispense wisdom in a condescending fashion like my two favers up there.

When I accidentally stumbled upon "Work of Art - The Next Great Artist.", (yes, it was whilst going to stream The Real L Word... I'M NOT ASHAMED), I thought... ooooh! OVERLAP, my serious life, and my boldie avoiding serious life combining in a reality televisual tantric orgasm of splendour! Wonderful! Well letmetellyouthis! Not only did this assist in future blimpage, but it ALSO, yes also, contributed to the fact that i am AGING, by furrowing my brow and having further necessity for those anti wrinkle creams my mother keeps giving me. How very dare you Bravo, how very dare you indeed.

Launched by Sarah Jessica Parker, (Yes, CARRIE, squeeeee, screeeeeam, everybody paint your nails, start getting-to-wonder, be a sexy horse, neigh for me.) as she is EXECUTIVE PRODUCER of the show.... widely known as a conceptual artist Sarah Jessica Parkers work lies mostly in dealing with socio-economic... oh no, wait, she has NOTHING to DO WITH ART, except for maybe having extortionate amounts of money to buy it, (which if you're reading this Carrie, which I'm sure you are, I have plenty of paintings for sale... CALL ME!)...

We are introduced to an array of KOOKEE KARACKTERS, lots of shexshy wimmin, a couple of weirdos (see below); some anti establishment i'm-a-builder-but-i'm-just-magically-good-at-art-stop-judging-me-or-i-will-flatten-you-with-my-expansive-chipped-shoulder, already 'established' artists, and a host of dubious judges from the art world in New York.

(now I'm most aware I'm a huge weirdo, and I adore weirdos, I did sense a sensationalist aspect to the "weirdo" here though, where it seemed somewhat exploitative and unconscious, particularly in relation to Nao, a literally shit artist, not that she's literally shitting, just simulating shitting of course, CANT GO TOO FAR.)

What irked me though, as I was indeed quite substantially irked, was that their final sentence upon awarding an artist as being the 'winner' from each challenge was that China Chow, the host, would repeat weekly "You really made a true work of Art". Now, though I did admire some of the art on display, (well when I say some, I actually mean only one artist, that being Peregrine Honig, (featured below)

she does some delicately touching and twisted imagery of which I am most fond. Check her oot.) UNFORTUNATELY FOR MY LOOKS, to a majority it was largely underwhelming, half baked, insincere work, and the eventual winners own work was condescending to the extent of my having to wince when hearing him assert his opinion on our socio economic condition through repetitive use of the word CRAAAAZY. Growl.

I'll stick to the High Art in Reality Television of Project Runway then... what would Tim say? THANK YOU MOOD.